He's got the whole world....

I've been putting off writing this blog entry for a few days. I am still sorting out my own feelings. On Wednesday we heard from our agency on a few questions we had asked them. We had been waiting to find out if Radu had made a match for us on his trip to Ethiopia. He hadn't. He told us it would probably be about 4 months before we find out who our child is. In the world of international adoptions this is still VERY soon, but it was hard to hear when I had been expecting to find out who she was any day! When we signed up for the program the wait time between submitting the dossier (paperwork) and receiving a referral was about 9 months to a year. So 4 months is AWESOME!!! But, it's still 4 months.

Aaron and I have been having a rough couple weeks in general. There is a lot going on in the school district that we both work in right now. It looks as though I will for sure loose my job since I am not tenured and they are making major cuts. This isn't the end of the world, as we were planning that I probably wouldn't be working once we get Sophie anyway, but if it is longer than we expect then I am going to have to find work in the in between time. Our big concern is Aaron's job and salary. The teachers are going through contract negotiations starting this spring. The superintendent's saying that if they do not take some major cuts in salary and benefits then she is going to have to make major cuts in jobs, tenured people included. Since Aaron hasn't been tenured long (only 1 year), this could mean that his job is in jeopardy. I am not too concerned about this, because even if he did get cut, he is an amazing teacher with many, many principals who have said they will recommend him (since his school has had a different principal every year). I know he will have a job next year, but he is stressed! And there is concern about the teachers having to go on strike... usually this wouldn't be a concern, we would live on savings, but that has all gone to the adoption.

There have been many nights of concern in our house, but I keep coming back to Matthew 6:26 "Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them! Are you not much more valuable than they?" I feel that this last month (and probably the next year), is one big lesson on trusting God's provision and plan. Some days I feel as though I am getting an 'A' in this lesson, but then the next minute my grade slips to a big fat 'F'. I will not give up, I may get discouraged, but I will keep pressing on. The Lord is with us, He will not fail us, He will not let go of us through these hard times.

As I write this I am reminded of a Swedish song we used to sing at Holsby (the bible school I went to in Sweden):
Du omsluter mig pa alla sidor
och haller mig i din hand.
Du omsluter mig pa alla sidor
och haller mig i din hand.
It comes from Psalm 139:5 "You hem me in - behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me."
The Swedish translation is: You surround me on all sides, and keep me in your hand.